FEAR…..

FEAR…..

Worries about future which are non existent
Troubles of the past which are no more
All of them met and bombarded inside the brain
An illusion was created
The mind was fooled
The imagination imagined it
Yet it became the most powerful
It ruled like a despot
They named it fear
And I sometimes fear
That I would die one day without understanding fear
How can we ever destroy, limit or understand nothing?
But we can atleast know that it is nothing
Fear is nothing
Fear.ear.ar.r…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

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Haunting.

Haunting.

 

 

We played together for hours

Me and my sister

And it started raining

We went running inside our house

Thrashing the wet mud on the way

She said, ‘Wait for me’

I grabbed her arm and we rushed inside

The ecstasy of that moment was mystifying

I still don’t know why but we started laughing

First I laughed and then she imitated me

She tried to laugh in my voice

Those times were so blissful

We didn’t need any reason to laugh

We just laughed

I said, ‘Stop laughing, father is coming’

She kept laughing

And I kept laughing

We rolled on the floor as we laughed

I rolled over to my father’s side

He was talking to someone on the phone

‘Go away’, he said

I and my sister were still laughing

Suddenly, the bliss was gone

As my father slapped me hard on my face

And that was some hard blow I got

My sister stopped laughing and I started crying

It has been 50 years since then

But I still remember it

Every day when I go to sleep

I play that scene in my mind

And I wonder, ‘Why did we laugh so hard that day?’

And I still remember that there was no reason

But the question that haunts me is,

‘Why did my father slapped me?’

Dead…

Dead…

 

The moonlit night is here

The dark energies are whispering

In my house

Their susurration is mysterious and frightening

I once heard someone saying

‘In the night, the dead talks’

I looked around to find someone

I followed the voices

I shouted, ‘Is anybody around?’

I could still hear the voices

I opened the front door

A woman stood there holding a stick

‘Who is there?’, she asked.

I ran away and she entered the house

She didn’t see me

Apparently, I was the one who died

She was scared of me and death

I was foolish I was scared of life.

Poof….

Poof….

 

 

As you enter  the auditorium

And meet the fractious audience

You begin to enjoy the feeling

The neurons rush and create passion

Dreams, big or small, fuel the body

At first, you are assiduous in understanding their expressions

Because they matter

Everyone matters

But soon you realize

That there is no time

You are too depressed to continue

You feel the pressure in your heart

Now, nothing matters

You just remain unaffected

They keep quarreling and shouting

You remain peaceful

But not for long

You befriend death

And time becomes non-existent.

Miracle.

Miracle.

 

 

One fine morning, I was sitting in my room

My clothes were all over the floor and I looked into the mirror

‘What are you looking at?’ I asked myself.

I looked into the mirror dreadfully

‘What a great imitator’, I wondered.

I sat there for few more minutes

And waved my right hand slowly

Without making any noise

I was out of my mind when I saw a hand waving back at me slowly

‘Who are you?’ I asked.

I saw his lips moving and dancing on the directions of my voice

‘This is a miracle’, I thought.

‘What a calm and pleasant man’, I wondered.

I was all worried suddenly, his calmness made me jealous.

He copied my every move perfectly

And followed with precision

But there was serenity in his eyes

And sadness in mine

Because I felt it, it had to be there

That one difference killed me

I wanted to shatter him into pieces

So envious I was of his pleasantness that I threw my clock at him

I broke it into pieces

Earlier there was one happy man, now there were many

All of them happy and calm

Whatever I do, they won’t change

I had no influence on them

Suddenly the dread in my heart was gone

The squabbling that terrified me over the years was gone

If I can’t influence them then I too won’t get influenced

The steering was in my hand

I moved and those broken pieces followed

I laughed and they laughed with me

Now we were all similar without any difference.  

I still don’t know.

I still don’t know.

 

 

When I was young I befriended a street dog

He ran around me and followed me everywhere

I used to sit near him and watch him wag his tail

I never talked and he never listened

But still, we communicated

How?

Even I don’t know

There are things you don’t know

Like a mother communicates with her child

Out of all those words that I blurted out

That silence with my dog was the best talk

He died some days later

And whenever I am surrounded by noise

I imagine his tail and I communicate with him

How?

I still don’t know.

When words fall short.

When words fall short.

 

 

Sometimes words fall short

When epiphany hits

When whole is visible in bits

When all the branches squeeze into roots

When thoughts dance and hands tremble

When life reveals itself

When Ephemeral ecstasy doesn’t exist

At that time the simplicity abducts the complexity

It happens in moments of bliss

When you sit and your heart races

When you see one in all faces

The story is in your heart

But your hands don’t move

The thoughts shout

But you don’t speak

When you hear mellifluous sounds

And your mind dances

At that time

Words do fall short.