It was 10.30 PM, I was walking on an empty road, with leaves dancing to the tunes of the wind, some leaves were so ecstatic, they almost touched my face in exhilaration. I was alone but not afraid, my intrepidness was strange, even to me. The cold wind was dissolving in my eyes, it felt like a drop of tranquility entering into my eye, as if I was walking in heaven.
After a few moments of solitude, though I was not alone, I was with the ferocious wind and the fervent leaves, I noticed all the leaves going down in a particular direction. There was a loop of leaves going towards that direction carried by wind. I ran hard to catch them, I was wheezing. Suddenly I realized I should jump, and I did.
In the next moment I woke up in the hospital, with a few doctors around me, exact count I don’t know, they were operating on me. They thought I was asleep, but I was watching everything. They did some procedures and left me in that room.
The next morning I was informed that I met with an accident, and I was lucky to be still alive. I thought was I really, I mean when I look around I only see chaos. I was missing the serenity I witnessed for a few moments, which the doctors snatched from me. Now I again had the pressure to prove my worth in the society, otherwise I have will have to live with the fact that I am no good.
But that was the hardest part, because I somehow felt that I was capable, and to show it to others was wearisome. After getting discharged, one night I again went to that empty road, I didn’t knew which road it was, but I found out the most silent one. As I was walking I was expecting the same calmness as I had experienced in those dying moments full of life, but I was getting disturbed by the chaos around, I was not able to segregate myself from this raucous world around. I was getting exasperated.
There was a bench on opposite side of the road, I sat on it. The chaos kept on increasing, the people, the vehicles, the polluted air, the noise, the racing life. I was just sitting there.
After a few moments when the noise reached the summit, I felt its level dropping down to zero, as if there was no sound at all, everything was still happening, but somehow I got to a higher dimension, a dimension from where I was able to experience that calmness which I was missing, I realized it was always inside me, but it was scared to come out in open.
A drop of wind again entered into my eye, the leaves again started dancing in zeal, touching my face like before.
It was my near death experience, which restored life in me, not my breath, but my ability to be alive in moments.
That ability which was absent in life was gifted to me by death.