That day!

That day!

 

I was going to help her

She was sitting on the footpath

With her daughter

Her leg was broken

Her face was disheveled

I saw her from a distance

I was in a taxi

The signal was red when I saw her

I decided to help her

But the signal suddenly went green

My taxi ran with others

I was back to my world

I thought let it be

Somebody will help her

Those eyes stayed with me

After fifteen minutes

I was at my house

And I was still thinking about that lady

I again sat inside the taxi

And went back to that signal

There was no one there

I looked around

But I didn’t see her

I regret that day even today

Not because I didn’t help her

But because I killed my kindness that day

I killed a part of myself that day

For a few seconds, I killed god

And created evil.

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A dry leaf.

A dry leaf.

 

I was walking on the road

Rough and dirty

Water spilled over its texture

Dry leaves of trees dancing below my shoes

I was on my way to work

Hearing the dumbest people talking shit

Is what I call work

Noises of vehicles rambling in my ears

Disturbing the thoughts

The sadness of seeing the dry leaves

Was occupying the thoughts

But dry leaves make way for wet green leaves

This is the cycle

Everyone has to move

I am also moving

Crushing those leaves

It doesn’t matter what you do with them

They are dead

You can bury them

Or burn them

Or crush them with your shoes

They will not fight or argue

I keep thinking

And finally, reach my workplace

The mind is still involved with the pain

Of those dry leaves

I forgot my own pain

My life, my work

Nobody gives a shit

Nobody is noticing

But I think I am turning into a dry leaf.

Perfect.

Perfect.

 

 

Outside the window, I looked

Broad roads covered with trees

The trees were bent on one side

They were tired of standing it seemed

 

The sun filtered its rays

By throwing them on the leaves

Leaves which were green

But varying from light to dark

 

Some birds were sitting on the branches

Shitting on the people passing by

 

Vehicles were rushing away

 

On one side of the road

Beggars were sitting

Asking for money and food

 

Some students were walking on the footpath

Discussing their exam paper

 

One lady was buying groceries

Suddenly, an ambulance passed

Screeching its horn

Either carrying a dead body

Or trying to save someone

But its speed suggested

Possibility of life

 

On the building opposite mine

Children were playing football

In the hot sun

 

My thoughts were in a disordered state

Same as the view through my window

It was all messy and disordered

But still, it seemed perfect.

Tough day

Tough day

It has been a tough day for me
In the morning I met a man
He was covered in shit
And was washing the drain
I was in shock
How bad is life?
Like hitting your head on a rock
You will bleed until you die
Living happily is a lie
Then I moved
The lie got proved
With a child on one shoulder
And a bag of vegetables on the other
The woman was walking swiftly
To sell the vegetables and earn
Her face smiled
And I got lost
I went to a temple
To find peace
But in my mind
There was war
I had everything
Even the time to look into other lives
But my day was still tough
I realized soon
That woman’s smile
And that drain man’s patience
Killed me
Why were they happy?
They were not supposed to be?
I thought about them for a while
Then I started looking into the sky
And I was drowning
Into the depths
Flying with the stars
The day was tough
But the night was not.

Trapped soul.

Trapped soul.

 

 

I can do what I want

The sky is just above

And stars are just right here

I can touch them if I want

Rough paths don’t bother me

I know my way and I will follow it

But wait, am I free?

Oh shit!

What is this “I”?

I am my body and my soul

My body is made and is not free

My soul is trapped inside my body

It is also not free

But how can I think freely then?

Maybe my thoughts are bounded

Something must be original I feel

That something is the reference point

To decide the freedom of thoughts and body

What if the trapped soul is the reference?

What if freedom itself is caged?

To be free I need to break the prison

And set my soul free

Maybe freedom is my destiny.

Finding the blue.

Finding the blue.

 

 

I walk bare feet on the roads every night

I roll my body on the wet grass

I look at the dark blue sky and wonder

Is the sky seeing the grass as green?

What if it’s green is different from mine

What if it’s green is my blue?

I had this friend

Very good in studies but bad in sports

He just couldn’t run

His parents kept saying

Run! Run! Run!

He fell down

We are trapped in an illusion

We can’t admit things

We can’t digest the fact that sky can see differently than us

We want the grass to be green in all eyes

We forget that all colors unite

To make a beautiful rainbow

Why is green more important

My friend, In order to become green

Lost its own blue

And became colorless

Empty

Now, he wanders here and there

To find his blue

By walking bare feet on the roads every night

Rolling his body on the wet grass

And looking at the dark blue sky.

Exist

Exist

 

 

You should live life

You should suffer

If someone says, ‘don’t do it’

You should listen

They have lived more

They have experienced this shit

Don’t be a rebel

Follow the rules

Get married early

Do a regular job

Listen to everyone

Do what they say

 

 

Don’t think that fate is in your hands

You are a football

They will kick you

And take you

To your goal

You are not free

You are made from surroundings

You are a byproduct of situations

You are bounded by fear

Fear will decide your road

 

You will fail if you disobeyed

Failure will harm you

It will make you suffer

Your life will be hell

There is only one way

Stick to it

 

Now, it’s time

They said way too much

‘Who are they’?

They keep saying things

And I believe blindly

The power in their voice scares me

Should I, for once disobey them

Ignore them

Just stop listening

‘Who am I talking to?’

I don’t know

 

But I have a feeling

That

I want to fail

The suffering they said

I want it

I want the satisfaction of not listening to them

I want to live

I want to survive

Life is a hell in all cases

I want to create my own hell

Free will doesn’t exist

But I surely will.